Debra Oliveda
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Debra Oliveda works for a grassroots nonprofit that doesn’t provide guaranteed hours. Unable to afford her own apartment, she’s been couch surfing for a year.
Annotations
Homelessness - In 2018, homelessness rose in New Jersey. The high cost of housing is partly responsible for the epidemic, as is the lack of proper wages for work.
Context Link: https://www.nj.com/politics/2018/12/homelessness-rises-in-nj-more-than-most-other-states.html
Supportive Housing - Having access to supportive housing can provide a stable place to live when someone is struggling. New Jersey has recently expanded investments in supportive housing.
Context Link 1: http://ichoosehome.nj.gov/ooie/ichoose/housing.shtml
Context Link 2: https://www.state.nj.us/humanservices/dmhas/resources/services/recovery/supp_hsg.html
Context Link 3: https://www.nj.com/opinion/2018/10/affordable_housing_push_delivering_results_for_nj.html
Economic Security - Emerging research is cementing the fact that good paying jobs improve health outcomes for people. Conversely, poor paying jobs exacerbate health outcomes. As such, when people are unable to provide for themselves and their families - when they are not paid enough to survive - it can have negative impacts on their personal health. High levels of economic security therefore damage overall public health.
Minimum Wage - Millions of New Jerseyans have been unable to properly afford their expenses and obligations due to deflated and low pay. Recently, in early 2019, the state signed into law legislation that will increase the minimum wage for most workers by 2024 and all workers (except for tipped workers) by 2029. This will help over a million workers by boosting their pay and have an indirect benefit on hundreds of thousands more further up the income scale as businesses reform their compensation policies and the economy grows due to more residents finally having the ability to fully participate and afford critical purchases.
Context Link 1: https://www.njpp.org/reports/a-15-minimum-wage-would-help-over-1-million-workers-and-boost-new-jerseys-economy
Context Link 2: https://www.njpp.org/blog/explainer-new-jerseys-15-minimum-wage-proposal
Affordable Housing - The lack of affordable housing in New Jersey is a major hurdle for most residents. Nowhere in the country can a minimum wage worker afford a 2-bedroom apartment, and it is especially difficult in New Jersey.
Transcript Link 1: “I was forced out of the apartment cause I couldn’t afford a rent of, I think it was a thousand two hundred dollars.”
Transportation - Transportation is critical to New Jersey's residents and its economy. The state's public transit infrastructure was ignored and improperly supported for years. Recently, greater investments are being made to improve quality and reliability.
Context Link 1: https://www.nj.gov/governor/news/news/562019/approved/20190627b.shtml
Context Link 2: https://www.njpp.org/blog/more-riders-less-investment-a-blueprint-for-failure-on-public-transit-in-new-jersey
Health Insurance - New Jersey has taken serious steps to protect the gains made under the Affordable Care Act and keep health insurance costs low. This helps ensure that more residents have health coverage so that they are covered for serious health issues.
Context Link 1: https://www.njpp.org/healthcare/new-jerseys-individual-market-premiums-to-be-among-the-lowest-in-the-nation
Safety Net - New Jersey has recently begun investing in, and increasing the amount of, welfare resources for the first time in decades. However, resources still remain inadequate for many residents. Continuing to invest in these resources (such as TANF, WIC, SNAP) will help more people who depend on them to stay out of poverty successfully do so.
Context Link 1: https://www.cbpp.org/research/family-income-support/tanf-benefits-remain-low-despite-recent-increases-in-some-states
Context Link 2: https://www.cbpp.org/sites/default/files/atoms/files/7-22-16pov-factsheets-nj.pdf
Context Link 3: https://www.njspotlight.com/stories/16/06/29/christie-s-welfare-cuts-leave-nj-safety-net-in-tatters/
Student Loan Debt - Student loan debt is a significant issue for young people all across the country. New Jersey has recently made changes to its higher education loan programs to make it easier for borrowers to pay back their loans without increased difficulty. These changes only apply to students who have borrowed through the state's programs.
Context Link 1: https://www.nj.com/politics/2019/04/struggling-with-student-loans-nj-wants-to-make-it-easier.html
Context Link 2: https://whyy.org/articles/new-jersey-enacts-two-laws-to-help-students-repay-loans/
Child Tax Credit - The costs of raising children are constantly increasing, becoming unaffordable for many families. A Child Tax Credit, which would provide a tax break for all families within a certain level of income who have children, would help ease the costs of providing for children. The federal government has a Child Tax Credit, but the state of New Jersey could implement its own refundable version that would provide even more support for qualifying families.
Context Link 1: https://www.cbpp.org/research/federal-tax/policy-basics-the-child-tax-credit
Context Link 2: https://itep.org/new-50-state-analysis-state-child-tax-credits-would-lift-2-1-to-4-5-million-children-out-of-poverty/
Context Link 3: https://www.taxpolicycenter.org/briefing-book/what-child-tax-credit
Transcript
I’m sure it’s worse in the rainforest.
Yeah, I’m sure it’s worse in the rainforest. So I guess we can start. Um, thank you so much for you know, taking the time, to talk to me and all of that good stuff. So I guess, we can start from the very beginning? Where are you from?
Where am I from, um, ancestrally or like?
I guess where did you grow up?
Where did I grow up? Okay, um, I grew up— well I was born in uh, Newark, New Jersey. Uh, that’s uh, my first home, cause that’s where I was born and then my second home was uh, in Carney, New Jersey, that’s where I grew up.
00:00:50
Awesome. Can you tell me a little bit about Carney? Or people a little bit about Carney who don’t know the area?
Uh, Carney, when I was growing up, it was predominantly Irish, Scottish, Lithuanian, and um, and it had a lot of Irish, Scottish restaurants and gift shops. And um, the Knights of Columbus would have their, well people practiced their bagpipes there, so my love of the bagpipes (laughs) also came from that experience, just listening to them practice, you know. Yeah, that’s like culturally, and that’s when I was growing up, the people, the community that I had back then, when I was a child. So Carney is near Jersey City, Harrison, it’s near Newark, and let’s see North Arlington, in that vicinity, it’s uh, Hudson County.
00:02:11
And it has the Meadowlands, it has a long history of industries there, um, that have come and gone, it has uh, the Keegan landfill, and um, it’s very urbanized, it’s a working class, um, area, and uh, trying to think what else.
That’s good, I think you really painted a picture [laughs]. Um, I’m just gonna, oh I should have prepped you on this before we like, started but just to be conscience of your movements and stuff because the mic is super sensitive and will pick it all up. So I guess what’s your day to day like now?
My day to day, it um, it’s a struggle um, at night I, the machine goes, the cogs and the wheels in my mind are going, because I’m trying to figure out my future, I’m trying to figure out my life, because I’m starting all over again. ‘Cause I-- I’m divorced I um, am starting from the ground up and I’m building a future again, and it’s really hard because being homeless, uh, your life is so unpredictable, like, you don’t know what's going to happen tomorrow. You don't know um, if your housing situation’s going to be stable, you don’t know if you’re going to have enough food, um, there’s so many variables, there’s so many things that-- to worry about, I’m dealing with also health issues, um, you know, job security, and I worry about my car, um, I have a lot of worries but I’m trying to work out throughout these, these uh, well through these problems, because um, there’s a lot going on at once, and I’m juggling all these things. [Annotation #1]
00:04:35
And they’re all important, because to survive, you need um, financial security, you need job security, you need, uh, stable housing, and you’re trying— like, all these things are happening at once, and it’s very stressing because you don’t have any sense of like, you know a calm or security in the world you live in, in your life. [Annotation #2] So it’s very challenging, and it’s— it’s very stressing, and it’s taken a toll on my body and my mind, and on, just on my soul and I’m trying to keep my life balanced as much as I can, um, and not like, be overcome by, by worrying and not have uh, like, anxiety over it. [Annotation #3] It’s easy to say, it’s easy to say not to get stressed out about it, but it— lingers in your mind. It just, it stays there all the time so um, that’s what I’m dealing with right now.
Uh yeah, there’s a lot kind of like, unpack there in terms of like, all of the things that are going on. So I guess, can you tell me about what you’re doing, um, are you working right now?
00:06:00
Yeah, I um, I currently work for a, um, a local grassroots non-profit organization and I um, started as a volunteer when I was in college back in 2009, and um, I wanted to pursue things that I’m passionate about, because it makes me happy, it makes me shine, I want to be in that realm so um, I worked in retail for a very long time and um, I was like, I got to be working in the field of my interest so I could build that um… that future that I want to see, where I want to be, where I want to belong, um, where I could really utilize my talents and my strength and my passion. So I want to, to do that, I want to stay on that path.
00:07:01
So last year, in February, I um, I was hired and um, I am uh, there now a year and three months, and I um, I— I like uh, what I do in a sense, but I— I need more. I need more. Um, I still haven’t found that, where I belong, but I’m looking for it. I’m looking.
Can you tell me a little bit about what your responsibilities are?
Okay, so I was hired as a um, office manager and then canvassing um, had stopped, they no longer canvas, so um, my job was at risk, and I just quit my retail job to go to a job that I wanted to build a future, build uh, my skill set, and um, grow as um, a person, also with the, the organization. And I was really concerned about that ‘cause I had no other job, that was my only job, I told them it wouldn’t be fair for them to let me go after I had just quit my retail job and they said they’re gonna see what they could do. So what happened was, they had um, some— a job opening for databasing, so I did that, and also um, I helped the senior organizer. Whatever he needs, I’ll assist with uh, say looking for a location to hold a meeting, phone banking, leaf letting. Um, I do— I table at events, I reach out to volunteers, and many other things that I do.
00:09:10
I clean the office [laughs], anything that I can do to keep my job, because it’s really tough to find that sense of permanence or security. So I have to do whatever it takes to keep my job.
I know where you’re coming from that also, I used to work for a non-profit in Newark, and I got let go also, so it's-- I can understand how tough that is. Can you kind of, describe what the struggle is, non-profit world is completely different, I don’t think people really know much about that. Can you expand on that?
00:10:00
Well, um, you have to make sure you’re always completing your tasks within reasonable time, and also, it’s not like retail, you have to be very flexible, it’s constantly changing, because it depends on the campaign you’re working on. So when you’re finished working on a campaign, uh, you move on to the next topic or issue or the next thing that we’re tackling, so you get ready for that, you’re building up on that, so uh, it involves, it’s like a lot of moving parts, nothing static. You have to prepare for that, so it’s um, calling up local elected officials or volunteers, or um, arranging a meeting space, or like um, going to events, like uh, canvassing, reaching out to the community, letting people know, educating people about what’s going on, what’s the issue, and um, yeah, it’s a lot.
00:11:18
And you have to produce, you have to— it’s not acceptable, like if you go canvassing, only getting one signature, you gotta get as many signatures are you can, cause that’s— that’s what they’re looking for. So yeah, you gotta be very creative in how you speak to people too. Cause you gotta convince some, that it’s important, you gotta convince them that they should be caring about it. Um, but it also depends on like, your performance and also their budget. This non-profit is, um, solely funded by people, like you and I, and um, they have to make sure everything is done within that budget. And if you're-- say that budget doesn’t, they can’t afford to keep you, so they let you go. Yeah.
00:12:25
That also kind of segues into my next question about I guess, finances. Are you getting enough from the non-profit job?
No. So my job, is also, um, not guaranteed hours. I was explained by my supervisor that if we don’t have enough work for you, then you know, we can’t have you work that day. So that’s why I’m always looking for something to do [laughs]. And um, they said that we can’t guarantee you all these hours.
00:13:05
Like I do twenty-nine hours a week and um.. Right now, since I’ve been there, there’s no, there’s no um, like it’s stagnant, there’s no growth right now. There’s no position where I can go higher, or move from where I am. I mean, I wear many hats, just, I was hired as office manager, I’m— I’m database specialist, and um, the New Jersey program coordinator, so I wear many hats. And I am there available whatever they want, I have to do. But they explained to me that if we don’t have enough work for you, we can’t have you working that day. So I lose money— when I lose money, it sets me into a panic, because there’s no guarantee that I’m getting this amount of money every two weeks— cause that’s when I get paid— and I have to um, maintain my car, and I have to make sure that I eat, and I have to make sure that I take care of my bills, and um, because if not, I’m going to lose my storage unit and my things that are in there, I’m going to lose car insurance, I’m going to uh, lose my phone service, I won't be able to communicate with friends, daily, jobs, whatever. That’s why I said, it's like, insecurity. You know, instability. So, it’s just not, not a good position to be in. Where they tell you hours are not guaranteed.
00:14:50
I hate to make you repeat everything but the thing started humming again. (laughs) Not quite sure what to do about that one.
I’m gonna unplug it. I was under uh, the impression it was gonna, it was okay.
It’s fine… it’s all going to be edited and you know…
It’s okay, I unplugged it.
Thank you. So, if you could retrace your steps a little bit, and talk to me a little bit about the financial insecurity that comes along with your job.
Okay. So, with my job, it’s um… my hours are not guaranteed. So I have twenty-nine hours a week and if there’s not enough work for me, then I can’t, I can't work that day. So it’s— it makes me uneasy, it makes me worried that when I come into work that day, they’re gonna tell me “I’m sorry, we don’t have enough work for you, so you’ve gotta go home.”
00:16:08
And um, that worries me, because I’ve got bills to pay, I’ve got a car to maintain, I got myself to take care of, make sure I have food, I have um, my cell phone that I have to keep on, cause if not, I have no means to communicate, you know, even for an emergency, and uh, what else, my bills, the storage unit where all my things are, um, that I’ve had for like a year now, a year and three months, and um, I can’t afford to lose my things, because right now it’s being held in that storage unit, but hopefully I can get into a permanent home situation.
00:16:59
But this is what happens when your supervisor tells you, I’m sorry, I can’t guarantee you the twenty-nine hours. And that’s all they give me, is twenty-nine. I can’t surpass that either, every week I can do twenty-nine hours, no more than that. I can do less, but they don’t want me to do more.
Do you feel comfortable sharing with me how much you’re making? Or ball parking it?
Um, I make about fifteen dollars an hour. And it’s funny because when I was hired, uh they gave me a lower amount and then uh, I was surprised or shocked that I had fifteen, because um, back in 2016 I um, got involved, or volunteered with 15 Now, I don’t know if you’ve heard of them.
00:18:04
There’s a 15 Now in New Jersey, so it's like, the fight for fifteen? Yeah. So I got involved because I feel our current minimum wage isn’t enough for anyone to live off of, because it’s just so expensive to live here and it’s really ridiculous to think that uh, a person can survive off of so little, and I got involved. So on my resume, they see that I have the Fight for 15 because I was an organizer there too, and um, I think that they did that because I had all that experience. (laughs) So I’m very grateful for that, but still it’s just not enough. And I do twenty-nine hours, so honestly, it really isn't enough to have an apartment and all the other things that you need to, to survive, like your basic needs. [Annotation #4]
00:19:11
What is your job search looking like right now?
Um, I’m looking for other local nonprofits or nonprofit— even, I’m even venturing out of state, too. Either that or like wildlife sanctuary, or maybe park ranger, maybe um environmental center, or a farm, or a health food store, but I’m not sure where to go right now. Because like I said, I’m looking also for housing, so this job and housing have to go hand in hand. So if they have a housing situation for me to go closer to the job— ‘cause I really don’t want to drive like an hour or two, it’s really taxing on my car, and I want to preserve it as, as long as I can.
What was your living situation like before um, your—
00:20:20
Before I got divorced?
Um or, before um, Brian let you stay here.
Oh, okay. So um, I’ve been— since last year, I was forced out of the apartment back in... April I think 29th or 30th, something like that, I was forced out of the apartment ‘cause I couldn’t afford a rent of, I think it was a thousand two hundred dollars. I couldn’t handle that myself, and um, I had a choice, I could have been evicted, but you know with eviction comes with a lot of other things, um, I was always concerned about being locked out and not being able to get to my things, so um, I left, and I took— I put all of my stuff into a U-Haul and into a storage unit. [Annotation #5]
00:21:16
And ever since then, I’ve been couch surfing. Because I did a budget and I did the math and there was no way I could handle an apartment by myself. I couldn’t even handle a room, like paying for a room. I couldn’t. Because of all my um, expenses in life. So I would fall short. So I, um, been couch surfing since then.
Did the divorce play a part, in your homeless situation?
Oh yeah, yeah. Because uh, my ex was the breadwinner of the family, and I was working in retail, and I was uh, I left that making nine dollars and ninety-nine cents an hour, felt like a bargain deal or something.
00:22:11
They were like penny pinching me cause they didn’t pay me— like why couldn’t they just give me ten? They gave me nine ninety-nine, and uh, I had um, my money that I made during that time, there was no savings, it went to bills. And I left with nothing. I left with the things, and he uh, he gave me some money and that was just enough to survive, and the truck that he gave me, it had a uh, there was a crack in the frame. There was a recall that was never addressed, and um, that crack slowly got bigger and bigger, and I went to an auto body and they told me that the job would be three thousand dollars, and I went to a dealership and then I went to corporate to find out what I could do, and they told me there was nothing they could do for me, and um, I said, well um, how can I be responsible for what somebody had neglected to do, and they said well it’s out of our hands, we can’t do anything about it.
00:23:26
So, I was very upset, because uh, we had an agreement that he would give me the truck in good working condition and uh, I had no idea that the car had uh, a recall on it, and I didn’t even realize that there was a crack in the frame, until one day I was passing by, and I saw light coming through like, the underneath like, the uh, wheel, it was, I’m sorry, it was above the wheel and I was passing by and I saw two little white lights underneath and I took a closer look and I said oh my god, there’s a crack in the frame. And um, the auto body said it was too dangerous for me to drive around like that because god forbid I got rear ended or if I hit a pothole, the car would— is not safe to drive.
00:24:24
It actually one night coming home from work, I did hit a pothole that I couldn’t see until it was too late, and it completely, it like cracked all the way through. But that night, I felt like the car was like, hovering over the ground. It was so crazy how I got home. When I saw the car in the morning, the frame was literally cracked. And I said, wow, how in the world did I get here. So um, that money that he gave me, I bought my Honda, and um, that was all my money that I had left.
00:25:03
And I needed the car to get around, cause here in the state of New Jersey, um, we’re dependent on our cars. If we don’t have a car, we’re very limited with where we can go, what we can do. Or our opportunities we have. So I made that choice either housing, or a car, and I'm like, well, I have to pick my car. So, yeah. So..
[laughs] Sorry.
Yeah, let me take care of that.
Thank you. I just hate cutting you off. If it’s one of those things that just needs to pass, that’s okay too.
Other voice: It may take a while to shut off.
We can wait a while too.
Now it won’t give me the option to shut it off.
That’s interesting.
Oh there you go. Work your magic.
00:26:33
I’m persistent. [laughs]
Um, yeah, I think, can we kind of revisit that one part you talked about, feeling like you had to choose?
Yeah, uh, so the money I got from my divorce was very little, because we were only married about four years, and um, I had to make the choice between living in a place or a car. And I need my car, because in the state of New Jersey because of our infrastructure, we’re very dependent on our cars. If you don’t have a car, you’re very limited on what you can do, you’re very limited on where you can go, or what opportunities you can access. So I had to make that choice, and I chose my car. And um, my car is everything to me, because if I don’t have my car, I don’t-- I’m not free. [Annotation #6]
In terms of timeline, I guess, when did you get divorced?
00:27:50
I got well, officially or legally divorced in November of last year. So... But we were separated before then, and I um, I had to do it because it just... the relationship wasn’t working out, and I didn’t want to live in denial or in a lie, lying to myself. So I had to go. And it just wasn’t a healthy relationship.
And where did you live after that?
I lived in, [voice breaks] Let me see, sometimes it’s just kinda hard, so much has happened since then. So, I um, lived in Aberdeen, and then from Aberdeen I lived in Avenel, and then from Avenel I went to Clark, and from Clark I went to, god, trying to think. Clark, um... oh, Old Tappan, and then from Old Tappan, I lived back in Aberdeen, and then from Aberdeen I went to Metuchen and then from Metuchen I’m here in East Brunswick.
00:29:32
Um, and then you had mentioned that you had health issues?
Yeah, I have um, upper respiratory issues, I have IBS, I have an H. pylori infection in the lining of my stomach. I just found out I got PCOS and I um, just, I have um, the Epstein-Barr virus, that I’ve had since I was a child, and it manifests every so often, when I’m under a lot of stress, I get these symptoms. So the past couple of days, I’ve been in a lot of pain.
00:30:23
Can you tell me a little bit about, I’m not familiar with your condition.
Um, well, IBS is um, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, so I’m very sensitive to um, certain foods, and when I eat certain things like say, something with MSG, I will be in so much pain. I literally want to be on the floor in the fetal position, holding my stomach in pain. So, I’m very sensitive to certain foods. The H. pylori I got, I’m not sure where, but it’s a um, an uh, bacteria, or bacterial infection that it invades your stomach lining, and if you don’t take care of it, it can um, give you ulcers or lead to stomach cancer.
00:31:24
So I have to-- I have to contend with that. And then, the Epstein-Barr virus, when I was a child I got mononucleosis, and um, it’s the ‘kissing disease’ and I was just a child, I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time, and I was kind of confused, and then the doctor told me, you probably shared a drink with a friend or something, and I picked it up from there. But with the Epstein-Barr, it’s in the herpes family, but when people think herpes they think all sorts of things, but there’s so many strains of it, and this herpes virus, it um, this particular one can lead to Lupus or um, lymphoma, and uh, I um, pray that I don’t ever get that, but um, when I— I didn’t even think-- like, for a while I haven’t had any symptoms but since I’m in a lot of stress, um, the symptoms are pains in my neck, a lot of stiffness, um, pain, like soreness, fatigue, the, the chronic fatigue, so um, that’s some of the symptoms. And with the PCOS um, that I recently discovered, that’s um, Poly-cystic Ovarian Syndrome, it um, affects um, a woman by like, a lot of pain, like menstrual pain.
00:33:11
So all of this is because of my life, all of these symptoms, all of this disease, all this stuff is manifesting because of my life, my life is very stressful, and when you’re stressed out and you’re not living in a state of um, you know stability, stress can manifest a lot of things, it can actually make things worse, like your health. It can age you faster, it could deteriorate your body. And um, it can wear you down, it can decom— like uh, incapacitate you, it can make you not want to do anything because you’re, you’re in pain. [Annotation #3]
00:34:06
So, um, I fight to be strong, I fight to make it through the day, I fight to get over um, these things. But then, I’m trying to resolve all these issues, and stay healthy. And then the symptoms, they come about if I don’t eat a balanced diet. If I eat processed foods, foods that are full of herbicides, pesticides or preservatives, it will make the symptoms worse, it will create the conditions that make-- make me feel worse, make me feel uncomfortable, make me feel sick. And uh, your health is everything, especially if you’re trying to make it through your life, a challenging point of your life. So uh, eating a balanced diet for me is a challenge because when you’re homeless, and um, when you don’t make enough money to afford the things you need in life, you’re, you're in survival mode.
00:35:16
So you’re trying to eat to keep alive, but then the very foods that you’re eating can make you worse, especially if you have dietary requirements, and uh, a lot of homeless people out there also have dietary requirements, and um, when you go to the food pantry, um, a lot of those issues are not being addressed, and uh, it becomes a challenge, because you’re trying to stay in that like, dietary regimen, and um, also you’re trying to stay within that— to keep yourself healthy, and to maintain or keep away the symptoms, the negative symptoms that you get, because you have a certain disease. So, it becomes a challenge.
00:36:09
Um, does your work provide you with any type of health insurance?
No.
Um, are you under Obamacare?
Yeah, I applied for it, but um, I got denied for the Medicaid, and um, they— well despite putting that I’m homeless, and you have to have a certain income, and I don’t know, it was very-- when you’re online trying to fill out the information, it’s not very clear and it’s very confusing, so they send you to the marketplace, and they have all these listings of all the health insurances that you can choose from. And um, it’s not easy to choose. And um, I pay about $150 a month for my health insurance, and it’s, it's very expensive. And I can’t even go to the doctor because there’s that specialist copay of thirty-five dollars that I can’t afford, and I have to choose from, like going to the doctor and eating. [Annotation #7]
00:37:15
And I need to see a doctor, because I have these health issues I need to address, and um, it’s just like a balancing act, and I can’t do both, I have to choose one over another, and that thirty-five dollars will go to food, or to put gas in my car. So, it’s not, it’s not affordable. I can’t— it’s really not affordable. The uh, health insurance. Yeah, I don’t get anything, just the paycheck from my job.
Um, I guess I was kind of wondering, also, if there’s any way, the current, anything currently happening in this political climate that is affecting your life?
[laughs] Uh, god, oh, I don’t even know where to begin. Trump is cutting um, everything. Like uh, funding for uh, for the EPA, and then for housing, and then for food.
00:38:32
Oh my god, there’s so many things, there’s like a whole list of things that are beneficial for people that have been cut, like the schools budget. Everything. Where do I even begin. I mean, the whole Trump, Trump administration has made it hard for people like us. And um, to survive, it’s like, um, setting us up for failure, or setting us up for, to starve to death, setting us up for, to keep us in place, for us not to grow. Because we have, we have these support systems, or these support networks to help us get on our feet, and if we can’t get on our feet, how are we going to progress, how are we going to have a life? And um, not only that, how are we going to have clean air, how are we going to maintain our resources, that keep us alive, like clean water, and clean and healthy foods, and um, many other things that we need to survive. And right now, a lot of people out there are suffering in silence because people don’t want to show that they’re vulnerable or show that they’re suffering or show that they’re really desperate, so a lot of people are just keeping it to themselves. [Annotation #8]
00:40:04
And uh, I wish a lot of people would let the public know the reality, that a lot of people out there are suffering and we just don’t know. I mean, you could look at a person and think that, hey, you know, this person’s not homeless, just by the way they look, but looks are deceiving, you don’t know, till you talk to that person, and what’s going on. And there’s a lot of people out there that are suffering. And I— I would like for those people to speak up. Cause uh, they tell us, um, one thing, but the reality is that homelessness is a big, big issue, it’s a bigger problem than what we think. Cause a lot of people are doing whatever they can to survive and to keep a roof over their head, or to find shelter, to find someplace where they’re out of the elements. Um, and out of danger. Cause it’s not safe being in the streets.
00:41:07
And uh, and exposure too, people die of exposure. So. It’s a bigger problem than people think. People get so wrapped up in their lives, but um, it's-- it’s an issue that really needs to be addressed.
Um, you had brought up, I think on the phone, that you’ll be in Trenton today?
Oh no, it was yesterday. I was supposed to go um, with uh, Monarch Housing and uh, I was supposed to go and speak and tell my story to our elected officials, and that day I was having a, I guess like a flare up, from the Epstein-Barr virus, and it was really manifesting in my neck, and it was hurting so much and I really couldn’t, couldn’t find myself to go.
00:42:11
Although I felt really bad, but I just couldn’t do it. There was just so much pain that day. I wish, I wish I could have gone. But what I heard was um, a lot of people that did come to speak, they were very passionate and they spoke with the truth and they let these elected officials, or elected leaders know the reality that people are going through. That homelessness is not acceptable, and we need more housing, we need more affordable housing and we need more funding for it. And they’re always coming up with excuses but there’s no excuse, cause it’s um, it’s a human right. And these rights are being violated everyday. Everybody has the right to have a place to live, and uh, shelter. [Annotation #5]
00:43:04
That kind of touches on another question I wanted to ask about, I guess, homelessness is something that’s really misunderstood.
Oh yeah.
Are there things that you want more people to understand about the nature of homelessness?
[Takes deep breath] Um... Homelessness is... There’s that stereotype that homeless people are, are dirty, that they’re all drug addicts, that they, um, they’re people that are lazy, um, what else can I, what’s the other stereotypes. That they have mental problems, and, uh that’s the most like, common stereotype. But homelessness is— it could be the person that you work with at your job, um, it could be the person you’re sitting by on the bus, they’re all kept clean, they're, they could be well dressed, but this person can be homeless, because they’re putting on that, you know, the front, because people will judge you, in the negative sense if you’re homeless. So that’s why— you don’t want to be judged, that’s why you maintain that appearance, that, you know, “oh, that they’re fine, they’re not homeless” cause the homelessness, like the stereotypical image of a homeless person is um, that they’re dirty, their hair is unkempt, uh, they’ve got holes in their pants, rips in their shirt, and they’re stinky.
00:45:05
Um, homeless person can be a person that’s clean. But that person that’s maintaining clean, is taking measures to, to maintain that. Well, to maintain themselves. By going to— um, washing up in the bathroom of their job, or in a supermarket, or in a store, or if they have a gym membership, they’ll take a shower in the gym, or at a friend’s house. Wherever they could get a break, just to clean themselves up, and maintain. Um, because when, if you have that image, people don’t want to help you. Or people don’t want to be near you. Um, and it’s sad, because like, you know, why don’t you want to be near a homeless person? They’re a human being. Just because they’re disheveled or unkempt doesn’t mean they’re less of a human.
00:46:11
Um, and why wouldn’t they want to help them? But they’ll be willing to help a person that’s all, like clean. So it doesn’t matter if a person is unkempt or clean, you got to help them the same. Um, but it’s just that ster— you have to break down that stereotypes. Um, because you never know. You never know. Unless that person will open up to you and share their story, that’s the only way you’re gonna find out. Um, and there— people are creative to, you know, live out of their cars, and live out of storage units, and attics, basements, uh, wherever they can find someplace. Under bridges, in subways, bus stops, parks, wherever they can find some place to lay their head down for the night.
00:47:20
How are you feeling about your future?
My future. [Takes deep breath] Oh god. My future. I’m hopeful, but then I’m worried, ‘cause I really want to make sure I get to where I need to be in life. I don’t want to-- uh, I don't want to live for the rest of my life like this. I want to make sure that I reach those goals or what I dream of, I get there. I don’t want to give up on those dreams and I don’t want to give up on myself. Cause, um, I’m here for a reason. [Tears up] I have a purpose and I know my purpose. I just wanna do that. I wanna get there. And I will do whatever it takes to get to where I need to be in life. Just right now, the now is the hurdle, to get to that future.
I guess, I’ll ask a little bit more of a happy question.
Sorry.
No, don’t be sorry. Talking about this is um, really hard.
[Sniffs]
00:49:05
Really, even just reflecting on past struggles can be really difficult. So thank you again, really. Um, tell me about why you’re so passionate about conservation.
Um, my mom, is from the Azores Islands, and uh, she came here in the 1970s, and um, the only two times I visited the Azores, was, I must have been five or six years old, for my um, my aunts wedding, and then when I was twelve years old, and it was so beautiful. It was the island, so it’s a temperate zone, it’s green, and um, my grandparents had a farm, and I loved um, the animals, the, the cows, the chickens, the dogs.
00:50:08
I loved exploring and running around, and um, looking at the tadpoles in the little river, and um, going to the neighbors house, and looking at the chicks. My love for nature, it's there because of my family, ‘cause of the connection to the land, and that passed down to me, cause I love and respect the earth, and the land. That’s where your sustenance comes from. And uh, I value that because they valued that. And um, animals make me happy. Being outdoors makes me happy. And uh, when my mom came here, she abandoned all that.
00:51:04
But um, growing up in an urban area, I always longed for that reconnection, to the land. And the only thing I had was the Meadowlands, that was my refuge. I would go out there, and look at the heron, the egret, the turtles basking in the little logs, and uh, the fish, and red-tailed hawks, and the wild turkeys, that you-- you couldn’t believe there was turkey back there, and there is, there was fox, turkey, um, these little islands of land, these little sanctuaries, these-- this is the only place that these animals have. So that's the same thing I felt, like this is the only place that I have. I don’t have forests, but I do have the Meadowlands, and the Meadowlands is a beautiful place, and that was my connection.
00:52:09
Cause my mom didn’t have a car, and we didn’t get— we didn’t go camping, we didn’t go to those places, cause my mom couldn’t afford it. She couldn’t go, ‘cause she couldn’t get there. So that was my connection to nature right there. The only place that I had, this— um, this former landfill but then became another landfill, I would find the beauty in this urban jungle, like in this like, concrete-ness, I would find the beauty that, the nature coming up from those cracks, like cracks from-- up from those cracks came a dandelion, a plantain or mullein, and I know their names, I know their value, and I respect nature in that way.
00:53:05
So that’s my connection, that’s how I remain connected and I value that, I value the plants, the animals, the insects.
Is there anything else that I need to know about you, or your story?
Well, um [takes deep breath] I come from an immigrant family, my um, my family, they immigrated from the Azores and Portugal. And um, my mom, she’s a single parent, my mom went through a lot over here in this country, to uh, grow herself, she came here to become independent, and um, it was tough for her, you know. She met my father, she met my father here, but my father was an alcoholic and he used drugs and he gambled and my father was very abusive to my mom, and um, my mom worked really hard to keep a roof over her head. You know, I have a brother, too, my brother and I, um, we went through a lot of suffering and pain with my mother. Cause the struggle, um, to maintain a life, and, um, my father was not a-- a person with a sense of responsibility to his family.
00:55:01
Because, um, he had an addiction problem, and also, uh, he was abusive to my mom. And my mom took a lot of, uh, took a lot of that, and she suffered a lot in silence, because back then you couldn’t really talk about those things. And um, my mom and my dad were never married and uh, I was born out of wedlock, so you’re already— society doesn’t look, they look down on you for that. And um, I um, grew up in domestic violence and mental, physical abuse. And uh, you know, trying to recover from that too, cause of those pains from the past. And then, uh, you know when you come from a family that’s um, single parent mother, and also I had a— when I was in school, they said I had a learning disability, and I would never go to college, my counselor said that I should just, not, not focus on going to college, cause it's gonna be too hard for me. Uh, that I should just work in a supermarket, get married, have a family, uh, cause it’s gonna be too challenging for me because I have a learning disability. And I didn’t want believe that. Every time somebody said I couldn’t do something, even my own mother, like, um, soccer is for men, not for women, I would do it. Every time someone tell me I couldn’t do something, I would do it.
00:57:02
Cause I didn’t like anybody trying to tell me what to do or, determine or like, a pre-destiny— predetermine my life, the course of my life. And um, I fought against that. I went to college. And um, it was hard, but um, being a person with a learning disability you have accommodations. And I used all my accommodations. It took me a while to graduate, I struggled a whole lot, but I was determined to utilize all those accommodations so I could graduate. And I did. I finally did. But um, I got my education, but unfortunately, you know, I thought going to college would give me a future. And I… here I am.
00:58:04
I’m homeless, and… But it’s not my fault. I can’t say it’s my fault, cause they want you to think that way. The- they are those people who are negative. And um, the ones that have um, a negative outlook on life, or their lens is skewed because of, um, their perception. Their perception is not clear. So yeah, the beginning of my life, I mean, there’s a whole lot that I could tell you, but I know for times sake, but that was my beginning of my life. People telling me I couldn’t do something and I fought through that to do it, and today I’m still fighting. I’m still fighting. And I have to create the world that I want to see. So.
Where did you graduate from?
I graduated from Carney High School. Well I went to Washington School, that was my grade school that I graduated from, then I graduated to Carney High School, and then I graduated from Bergen Community College.
What did you study there?
Um, well I took up liberal arts, and I did a lot of writing, and um, writing courses, but then— oh I’m sorry, let me back up a little, I initially wanted to be a vet tech. But I worked at a couple of veterinary hospitals, sorry, I worked at a couple of veterinary hospitals and I discovered that the conventional veterinary medicine is not for me. My approach is more of a holistic way, and they don’t have that holistic veterinary schools around here.
01:00:16
So, I um, decided not to go into that and I took liberal arts, to give me a chance to see my options, and then I went and I changed again, my studies to science. More of environmental studies, I went into that. And then, um, I graduated with an Associate’s Degree in science.
Are you still paying back any loans, that you had?
No, thank god, I was very, very aware of those things. Because of my circumstances, because my mom was a single parent, and uh, I didn’t have anything, I was eligible for financial aid. So I got uh, full financial aid, along with a PELL, TAG, and EOF. Um, and EOF, I discovered later on, and they didn’t advertise or tell me about that, how I discovered that was, I was walking the hallway and I saw a sign that said E. O. F. And I said what is this EOF? And I’d always pass by it all the time, and um, I walked in and I asked the secretary, I said “what is EOF, what does this mean?” and she said “Equal Opportunity Fund” and I said oh, and she goes, “it’s for financially disadvantaged students” and I said “oh, that’s me, where do I sign up?” and she gave me a clipboard, and um, it helped a lot. Because I was out of county, cause I lived in Hudson, and I went to Bergen cause they had more resources for students who had learning disabilities, so I went there instead. And uh— but before that, before I knew about financial aid, I was gonna go into the army, but someone talked me out of that, and told me hey, you can apply for financial aid. So I’m glad I had that conversation um, so yeah, that’s how I got the funding for my education. And, uh, it was not easy to maintain my GPA, because I had to work, and it got to the point that I couldn’t handle both, because um, work and school, is um, it’s hard for me to maintain, and I give a lot of credit to those who can handle them both, I personally can’t.
01:03:12
I can’t do both like that, so um, I had to let go of my job, so I could finish school. But that’s how I got my education paid for, and I don’t have any student debt, thank god. Cause it would make it even more challenging. Um, my brother, he has student debt, and uh, it’s hard for him too, to survive. He, he lives with my mom. So, there’s a lot of people like my brother, who are living with their parents, because they can’t afford to live on their own, cause of all the student debt that they’ve acquired. [Annotation #9]
Yeah, um… how has I guess, your upbringing affected you um, I guess in your current situation, today, if at all?
My upbringing, um, I think your upbringing shapes you. What you’ve gone through as a child shapes who you are as an adult. So, my mom as a single parent, I um, took on a role of another parent, so it taught me responsibility at a very young age. And um, my mom, culturally, in Europe they, the women are taught— like, the children, the young girls are taught how to cook and clean and take care of, um, the men, at a young age. So as soon as I was tall enough to reach the stovetop, I was already cooking. And whatever I could help my mom with, whether it be cooking, cleaning, taking care of my brother, I did that. I even hand washed my clothes, using a uh, washboard. And we didn’t have a car, so we’d have to, uh, walk to the supermarket, I don’t know if it was maybe a mile away from the house, or so.
01:05:40
Uh, we’d walk to the supermarket, and uh, I always dreaded Thanksgiving, cause my mom would always make me carry the turkey and it was pretty heavy. But in a way, um, all those struggles, and all those things, all the difficulties, it made me stronger. Um, and all that, that she taught me, like the um, like the essentials in life for survival, cooking and cleaning and taking care of yourself, it’s really important to know. But I was my mom’s punching bag. I was the eldest, and my mom would take out a lot of things on me. And um, it’s like, that’s when I did a lot of introspection and analyzing my life, and why, why did my mom treat me like that. My mom was very hard on me, she would hit me for any, any reason, anything. And she would yell at me all the time, and she would make comments. Uh, she’d pick on me because I was overweight at one point.
01:07:06
My mom was very hard on me. But then, she lived a hard life too, and I asked a question, why do you treat me this way? And she said because my parents treated me this way. And I said, well how did you feel when—when your parents treated you like that? And she said not good, and I said, how do you think I feel? So it taught me a lot of like, kind of like analyzing, introspection, communication, cause I would, I would let my mom know how I feel. Even if I was shouting, cause most of the time we were shouting at each other. I mean the neighbors could always hear, all the time. And my mom was just so hard on me. I never gave my mom a problem, my— whatever my mom wanted, I’d give it to her. Uh, because I’d know, if I didn’t give it to her, she’d hit me, yell at me. But I did the best I could. And I managed myself. I managed my life. I was responsible over myself. And um, I was responsible over my brother, and my mom, too, cause I was taking care of my mom also. As in the sense of giving her what she wanted, when she wanted. And in a way, despite having my life be so hard, I respect my mom, but then the things that, the painful, like the abusive parts side, I don’t, it’s like I don’t— I don’t know how to put it but I forgive my mom, but I don’t forget that. I don’t feel that it’s a healthy way of living like that. Being abusive. Verbally or physically.
01:09:09
And um, I know my mom did her best. The best she could. We always had food, we always had clothing. My mom did the best she could. And I knew that, I realized that. I never asked my mom for something she couldn’t, she couldn’t give me. And I wouldn’t give her that pressure either. And um, I know life was hard already for her, so I was taught a lot of patience also. I’d wait for things, and uh, when you wait for things, you value them, like you have more appreciation. Like a pair of sneakers, um, my mom put clothes on layaway, all that waiting time made you appreciate it more. [Annotation #10]
01:10:01
So I don’t take anything for granted. Even food, whenever I— I won’t leave one crumb on the plate. I have more of a value and more appreciation and more humility and that like, humbleness, and I um, I don’t think I would change that. Despite it being so painful, I don’t think I could, cause then I wouldn’t be who I am today. I know it was very painful, it just wouldn’t be the same.
What is your learning disability, and does it affect you currently?
Yeah, um, so it’s very vague, um, they told me I was perceptually impaired. So perception, I would say like how you take in information. Like people, some people more visual, more auditory, more tactical, like you know. I’m more, I need hands on, I need like, to be instructed slowly, certain things, not everything. Some things I pick up real quick, some things takes me a while. So I have uh, like, uh, dyscalculia, it’s a math disability, um, I have problems with numbers, calculated in my head and remembering that. Like multiplication tables. Um, spelling, I had a really hard time with that, even to this day I have problems with that. Actually, it reminds me, I was reevaluated at Fairleigh Dickinson University, yeah, Fairly Dickinson, I believe they’re in, is it Teaneck, I think it’s Teaneck.
01:12:13
Well, I was there for a reevaluation for my learning disability, and they told me that they couldn’t put a label, but they said you’re very smart, it's just you’re just a little slow. She said, I don’t mean it to insult you, it’s just you do process or do things a little bit slowly. And I didn’t know what to think of that, because like, it’s hard to label how your brain processes things, how your brain uh— how you receive information and process information, it’s hard to label that. It’s hard to like, classify or categorize people, because we’re all different, we’re all wired differently. So to put a label on that, it’s kind of hard, and I think that’s why she had a hard time explaining to me what it is. Cause they put you through a series of tests, and uh, she said yeah you’re very very intelligent, you’re just a little slow. And um, it affects me because um, I type really slowly, um, when I was in college, how I got through was, um, if I had to write up a paper, like my thesis or an essay, I used a Dragon NaturallySpeaking, I don’t know if you ever heard of it, it’s a um, program where— like a computer program where you have a microphone like a headset, and you speak uh, into that mic, and it will type out what you’re saying. You even have to say period or comma, and uh, I could write up a paper verbally, instead of like you know, physically with my fingers on the keyboard, so that’s what helped me. But I struggle because I type really slowly, I mean I could write up a paper, it just takes me some time.
01:14:18
But we live in a world that, you know it’s instant gratification, instant now— ‘I want this produced now’ and I can’t go that fast. So I try to do things within my capabilities, so um, like uh, math, I have to use calculators, have to use my fingers, um, as long as I arrive to the right answer, I’ll get it. If I can’t spell something, I use the dictionary, or if I’m doubting myself, if this word is correct, I’ll reference the dictionary. I always use tools. Even my phone. Any resource that I can use to help me. It’s like uh, a tool for— to keep me in line here.
01:15:09
But I recall, how it affects me, is like, I worked for CVS pharmacy and my manager gave me a hard time uh, about the way that I was counting the prescriptions, the pills. And uh, he says, that’s not how you count that, he goes, I could get my niece, my five year old niece to show you how to count. I said, well this is the way I count. As long as it’s accurate, that’s what matters, however my style, the way I do it. But he said, that’s not the right way. And I said, there is no right or wrong way, it’s just your way, as long as you get the answer. But he said that in front of customers, and he embarrassed me. And um, this other job that I had, I um, I was learning the uh, the register, and um, the POS system, the point of sale system, and uh I wasn’t getting it fast enough for the management, and I asked a lot of questions when I was stuck, couldn’t remember, and they got annoyed and let me go because of that. So yeah, I have to hide this. I have to hide it, hide that I have these uh, weaknesses, or these things, because it’s not acceptable, cause you’re viewed as not productive. And they want productive people. So I been managing well to hide it, but eventually it’ll be discovered.
01:17:05
So I try to compensate— over compensate for other things that I do. Yeah.
That’s all I pretty much have, unless there’s something else that I need to know, in relation to where you are now.
As in the sense of, sorry.
Uh, your financial, housing, job search, things like that.
Financial, I have like nineteen dollars to my name right now (laughs), um, and uh, housing right now it’s unpredictable, cause I don’t know how long I’m going to stay here. Um, I mean, I have my car, but um, at least I’m here, I’m not in my car.
01:18:01
Uh, and then with my job search, I’m still looking. I— I’m really working on looking for a job that will encompass or express my true potential. So, yeah. That’s the only thing I can think of, I’m sorry.
No, it’s— if we’ve touched everything, then we’ve touched everything. I just, I totally forgot to ask you to say your name, your age, and where we are right now, which is what I’m supposed to have done like, an hour ago. But if you could just do that.
Okay, um, my name is Debra Souza Oliveda, I’m 37 years old, and uh, where I live, uh currently, I’m staying in East Brunswick, New Jersey, but I think I live everywhere because I don’t have uh, permanence, so I live everywhere.
Thank you so much.
You’re welcome.