Marlene Lopez
ANNOTATIONS
Learn More [1]: S2630.
Learn More [2]: Dick Cauchi Alise Garcia Colleen Becker. State Pharmaceutical Assistance Programs.
Transcript: "HK: So you, so you’re supporting four kids. ML: Four kids."
Learn More [1]: “Policy Basics: The Child Tax Credit.” Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, December 11, 2019.
Learn More [2]: “New 50-State Analysis: State Child Tax Credits Would Lift 2.1 to 4.5 Million Children out of Poverty.” ITEP.
Learn More [3]: “What Is the Child Tax Credit?” Tax Policy Center.
Learn More [1]: “Policy Basics: The Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP).” Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, June 25, 2019.
Learn More [2]: “Cash Assistance Should Reach Millions More Families to Lessen Hardship.” Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, December 14, 2020.
Learn More [3]: “WIC Participation and Costs Are Stable.” Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, October 11, 2017.
Learn More [1]: “Cash Assistance Should Reach Millions More Families to Lessen Hardship.” Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, December 14, 2020.
Learn More [3]: Jan, Tracy. “A Minimum-Wage Worker Can't Afford a 2-Bedroom Apartment Anywhere in the U.S.” The Washington Post. WP Company, August 16, 2019.
TRANSCRIPT
Interview conducted by Hank Kalet
Interview conducted in 2018
Transcription by Kether Tomkins
Okay. Let’s… let’s see. Alright so, let’s hope I didn’t erase anything. So, um, start off by just giving your name.
Okay, um, my name is Marlene Lopez Rojas. Um, I, um, gonna be thirty-one tomorrow.
Oh, tomorrow?
Yeah.
00:00:29
Oh, happy birthday! [laughs]
Thank you. Uh, I am from Mexico. Mm… I was born in Mexico, um, and…
How long are you here?
I’ve been here for about twenty years already.
Okay. So did you come in with family or by yourself, or...?
Um, I came with my mom.
With your mom.
Yes.
Okay. Where-- where in Mexico?
We’re from Oaxaca.
Oaxaca, okay.
The state of Oaxaca, yeah.
Okay. Um, describe the town that you’re from a little bit.
Well it’s very, um, traditional. It’s very cultural. Um, um… What else do I wanna say...
How, how big of a town is it?
It’s pretty big.
Oh really, okay?
Yeah, it’s big. It’s beautiful. [Clears throat] We have lots of, um, beach-- beaches. Like, on a, yeah, shore.
Okay.
And… it’s very beautiful.
Does it compare in size to like, New, New Brunswick?
Oh, it’s, it’s big. It’s much bigger.
Oh, it’s bigger than New Brunswick?
Yes.
So it’s more of a city?
Yes. It’s a city, yeah.
Okay. So um, so when you came here-- why, why did your mom bring you here?
Well, uh, my mom had a problem. So, uh, she came like running away from, from stuff. Like, they were trying to hurt her. So, she just came here and she left us over there with our grandparents so I lived with them until she came back.
Oh, okay.
So, I was probably like six years old when she came back. And, um, then after probably two years, then she came back again. Cause, yeah…
Okay, so, to try and narrow… so we can get the timeline down… So she came by herself--
Mm-hmm.
When you were…
Hmm, two years old.
Two years old. And then she came back, stayed for a couple of years.
Yes.
00:02:52
Came back here. Does that sound-- the second time she came back here, is that when she brought you?
N… no.
So she came back and forth more than once?
Yes.
Okay. Um, what, what kind of trouble? I mean, they were trying to hurt her… was it domestic violence? Was it...?
Well, my father passed away the same day when she came over here. The first time. So, but it was more like a murder. And, and then after that, the same people trying to get her too.
Okay.
Yeah. So they were, um, trying to kill her too…
Do you know, do you know much about why?
Um… no.
[Laughs] That was a tough business. But you, you guys-- you have other siblings?
I have, I only have a sister.
A sister. And you were both in Mexico at that time?
Mmm, no. She came first. I came after.
Okay, but when your mom came, your sister was where?
Uh, she was there also, but she was living with my aunt.
Okay.
Yeah, so we were, we were separated at the time.
Okay, so you were living with your grandparents…
With my grandparents, yes.
00:04:18
Okay, so you were safe.
Yes.
How, how was it you know, with your mom not there, your father’s been… you said, you said he was murdered?
Yes. It was, it was very difficult. Because when you’re, when you’re with family it’s not, it’s not… it’s not easy. And I had older cousins living with us, so it was always fights and stuff like that [laughs]. So, we had a rough time. Had a difficult time.
How was it economically there?
Oh, it was bad, because it was like a lot of us living together in the same place. And, um, I guess, um, I don’t know if, I don’t know about that, but it was enough.
Was there enough to go around?
[Laughs] Yeah.
So then, um, why did your mom come back the first time?
Um, because of the same, the same, um situation that… she decided to, to come back.
To, to Mexico?
No, to… Oh, why did she go back to Mexico?
Back to Mexico from here.
Um. I guess, because of us? Yeah. But then, um, I think when she noticed that it wasn’t enough, like, living there, and the economy and um, and something, that’s when she came back.
Okay.
And then after a few years, so, when I was probably eight years old, probably eight or nine, when she came back to the US. And then, uh, we stayed there, um, for another… well, I stayed there for another two, three years. Yeah, but then, uh, there was another lady that she said she was gonna bring me here. Uh, so I went to her house, I was living with her. And I began having diff-- a difficult situation because her kids, uh, didn’t want me there. So they used to say, uh really bad stuff and do bad stuff. Um, so after a year, my mom decided to, to go for me. To go get me. So that is when she came back and then I came here.
Okay. So how did you make that trip? She’s going back and forth, how was she making the trip?
Um… as an immigrant.
Did she fly back and forth, did she…?
Um, she flew. Like, going from here to there. She took a plane and then coming back we had to go through, through the border.
00:07:23
Okay, so you crossed on the ground and how, how was that? I mean, you were eleven. And you’re kinda making your way north.
Yes. Actually when, when my mom went. Um we were supposed to come with, with a group of people but the person in charge, I think, I don’t know if, um, it was some, something, like, they’re trying to take the people from the group. So there was some man that came to my mom and he said he was going to, to bring me. “We’re going to bring them separate.” So, so they tried to separate us. Um, over there, so my mom didn’t want me to go with him. So, um, but after that the older man, the real guy that was going to bring us, went to a… because we were located at a hotel, so then they came and talked to my mom and then my mom told him that there was this guy that was trying to separate us. So then he told us that no, that wasn’t his people. So.
Okay.
So, that was kind of scary [laughs].
Until you came in what through Texas or Arizona?
Um, I don’t remember ‘cause I was young [laughs], but it was through Texas, I guess.
And your mom she had to pay?
Yes, she had to pay lots of money. Um, but, crossing the border was like, really something, um, to think about. Because, um, there was people racing, like, driving crazy through the border. And we almost got killed. Yeah. The car was about to explode.
Wow. So. How’d you get from the border to New Brunswick? Is this where your mom settled initially? Did she come to New Brunswick initially?
Yeah, she was here. Yeah when she first came. Um, well, we took uh, um, a flight. Yeah, we took a flight from Texas to New Brunsw-- to New Jersey.
Okay, so this was always the destination, right?
Yes. But I guess before it was easier. Now it’s not easy [laughs].
00:10:06
Yeah, a little bit different now. Yeah. Okay, so now you’re here. And you’re, um, what did your mom do during the… you know, what kind of job did she have, what were the living conditions like when you first got here?
Oh, when I got here... well actually, my mom was working two, two shifts at the time. Because she had to pay the money, so…
The money to get you in?
Mm-hmm.
And I guess there were other expenses, right?
Yes. Yes. It was my mom, my sister, and I.
00:10:40
And where was she working at the time? Two shifts?
Yeah, she was working at this, uh, factory.
Okay, and where was the factory?
Mm… Jamesburg. It used to be LPA, I think it was called. Of course now it doesn’t exist.
There are a lot of other warehouses and factories there. Did, how did she get there?
Um, I don’t really know.
Okay.
Well, what do you mean? Like, did she drive or?
Like from the house to, to work.
Well, I think she, she had a ride.
I know there are a lot of van services.
Yeah.
I was just kinda curious if you knew. So, um, how, how difficult was it here for you guys when you first got here?
When I first got here, it was, um, difficult because of the, the language.
Mm-hmm.
First of all. Um. I was in first, or in sixth grade. I started sixth grade. I came before but I didn’t go to school because I didn’t have all of my, my documents. So um, um, I started in the sixth grade. Mm-hmm. So it was, yeah, it was difficult because of the language and the people. I mean, you’ll see different kind, different kind of grades and stuff like that, and cultures. As in Spanish, um, not all of the people have the same accent. So. Yeah [laughs]. Sometimes it was confusing.
00:12:34
Well you, you did okay, or, you think?
Yeah, I was doing okay, actually, in school. I was in the honor roll for a few times, yeah [laughs].
Okay, that’s good. How about financially, you know, how were things? Your mom is working two shifts, she’s paying a lot of money to the person who brought you in, she’s paying all the bills.
Yes, yes. We had to, to live, like, day by day. Um, eating what it was, whatever was there at the table. Whatever my mom could, could give us. Um, yeah, and she has to, she had to pay the money. And she had to send money to my grandparents also. So she had to send the money over there. So yeah, she was trying to, to make something of herself. She wasn’t planning to, to stay here for a long time. She was trying to send money over there so she could build a house. And she did. But at the end she had, um, trouble getting her documents-- her papers together. So at the end, she ended up having, uh, nothing, and us too. ‘Cause we, we couldn’t go to college or stuff like that because of the same, same thing.
Where is your mom now?
Um, she’s here.
She’s still here?
Mm-hmm.
Still in New Brunswick?
Yes. But it was kind of difficult for her also, because she couldn’t go over there and have her house.
00:14:33
Was there any fear that you weren’t here legally and something could happen? The police could show up...? Was that ever a concern?
Um, I wasn’t thinking about that. But like, right now that I think about it, yeah, it is very… like sometimes it gets very stressful. Like thinking about somebody coming into your house and just sending you back to a place you already forgot. Because I don’t really remember, um, the place. I mean, I know that it’s beautiful and stuff like that but, uh, I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to get used to, to this place again.
How’s, um, how’s that affect decisions you make now? If you’re worried about that. Does it affect, you know, where you go, how, how you work? I think when we talked you said you have DACA-- so there’s no immediate threat but it’s in court now, and it could go away.
Exactly, yeah.
00:15:56
So, does that affect choices that, that you’re making now?
Um, yes, because, um, I think about my, my, my children, actually. Because they’re very young. Well, not, not too young because the oldest, she’s thirteen right now, and um, the other one is ten. And um, I have a six year old and a three year old. So, um, yes I think about them. I think about them and um, their, their, um, environment. I mean, their environment is not the same here as over there. I mean, we hear, um, everyday in the news that there is people, um, I don’t know being killed and stuff like that, so it’s kinda scary. I mean, you don’t hear it here, like, that often.
Yeah. So, so they were born here.
Yes.
So they’re citizens. So they’re safe in that respect, but they’re young enough that if something were to happen, you’d take them with you, right? I mean, it’s hard to leave them.
Mm-hmm. Yes. Yes. Exactly. I think about it because it’s gonna be difficult again for them, with the language and, and everything. So. The economy.
So do they, do they speak spanish?
They do.
How well?
Um, not so good, but they, they understand.
They understand. But if they had to live in a place where that was the primary language...?
No. Yeah.
So, um, you mentioned, um, that you got good grades in school. So let’s talk about that a little bit. Did you get good grades all the way through? What were your plans when you were in school? What did you want to do?
Well, I was always thinking about being a nurse. Or working as a pediatrician. So that’s what I was always thinking.
Mm-hmm.
But, um, there were other, uh, problems also. Like in the family. Um, my sister and I never got, never uh, got very… well. So we always be fighting. Partly because we never, we didn’t grow up together. So we never had a good, um, relationship. So, uh, there were always fights. So when I was the age of sixteen or seventeen, I got pregnant. So um, so I chose… And, and actually, after I got pregnant, after I had my kid, I still went to college. But it was very difficult because I already had a child and I had no support from-- like, my, my mom, she was sending money to her mom because she had cancer at the time, so my mom was paying for her treatments and stuff like that. So I had no other support, we didn’t have like the financial aid. Right now, like, yeah, but at that time we didn’t have that opportunity.
00:19:45
And where were you going to school?
I went to Middlesex.
Okay.
Mm-hmm.
You weren’t paying in-county, like, you had to pay more, right?
Yes. So I had to pay, like, two-thousand dollars just for one semester. I think it was more than that because, um, I had to pay the books full price and that’s very, um, expensive. And at the time I didn’t have a car, so I had to take the, the bus and, and I had to, um, bring the baby to daycare or not. I didn’t have daycare, I think, so I had to take her to, um, the babysitter.
Oh wow.
So it was very, very, very hard.
Were you living with your mother still at the time, or?
Yes. I was living with her, but like I said she was always, yeah, in her business. So.
So that was tough. So, were you helping with the household bills at the time? Were you working as well?
I was working.
What kind of job were you working?
I was working here. At the daycare.
So you were here?
Mm-hmm. Yeah. But I was paid like, like a student I was, I wasn’t getting paid like, uh, um full-time.
Oh okay.
Mm-hmm.
00:21:02
So had, have you been working here for a long time?
Yes. Yes.
Okay. So after, um, after the baby was born how long before you moved out?
Um. I didn’t, actually I didn't move out [laughs].
Oh, you didn’t?
Yeah [laughs].
You’re still living with your mother?
Yeah. We live together but um, now she’s not working. So now she doesn’t work.
Okay, is it because she’s sick or…?
Yeah, she’s sick.
What does she have?
Um, she has diabetes and, um, uh, there’s something wrong with her back.
Oh.
Yeah.
And she, um, she still doesn’t have status, I assume?
No.
So does that, how does that complicate healthcare?
Um, well actually, right she’s, um, she’s at home. She’s, um, what do you mean? Health, like, her health?
Like doctors--
Her visits? Oh yeah, she has to pay for medications. And, um, she applied for the Charity Care so they’re helping a little. But for her medications they don’t pay that, so she has to pay all of that.
So that’s on you?
Mm-hmm.
00:22:22
And your sister’s not in the house, I guess, since you guys didn’t really get along.
Yeah. Yes.
And your mother.
And my mother.
And from here?
Yes.
This is the only place you work?
Yes.
How many hours do you work?
I work forty hours a week.
And do you have any money coming in any way like, uh, food stamps or anything like that?
Um, yeah, we have uh, food stamps but it’s not enough because it’s only like two-hundred dollars a month, so that’s not enough.
Okay, so how long does that last?
Oh, about a week [laughs].
Okay. What do you do when that runs out?
Oh, I have to, um, get it out of my pocket [laughs]. Yeah. And, and it’s real, really it’s very difficult. Um, it gets, um, stressful sometimes. Um. Uh, what else? Um…
Where do you go food shopping?
I go to Sam’s.
You go to Sam’s Club. In East Brunswick? Is that the one?
Yeah, East Brunswick.
So uh, that probably takes almost all of your food stamp money, right?
Yes, that shopping.
And then how do you supplement after that? Cause you don’t go, you can’t go back to Sam’s after that. I’m assuming there’s not enough money left over to go back to Sam’s after that?
Yeah, um, I usually buy like, stuff like rice, and, um, beans. Um, stuff like that that last longer [laughs]. So after that, yeah, we have to go to the market. To the…
So which markets do you go to here? Do you go to like the local-local ones? Or do you go to C-Town? Or like the, I forget what it’s called, Fresh Grocer but it’s not called Fresh Grocer. Um, or the Food Town? Where, where do you usually...?
Um, no, we usually just go here. Like, around the whole house.
Like, like the small corner store things.
Yeah.
Well, isn’t that more expensive than going to, to like a supermarket?
Well, yeah, but sometimes, you know, we need it [laughs] the same day and so we just run to the store.
00:25:12
Well, so that’s, um, how would you prioritize what you, what you spend? It’s, you know, where does the spending on food rank versus what else you have to spend on?
Well, it’s basically food that we spend on. After that we have to buy clothes and stuff for the kids. They, they grow out of their shoes and clothes really fast [laughs]. Good thing, good thing that, um, the last three are boys so sometimes I have to use, I use the clothes from the oldest and they just pass their clothes.
Well that, that helps a little bit but then at some point… So, so this food. This rent. How much is rent?
Um, I have to pay six-hundred… six-fifty a month.
Six-fifty. Okay, so that’s not terrible. How, how big is the place?
Um. Big enough. We don’t have, we don’t have a living room and, and like uh, kitchen area, but we use like an electric stove. And, yeah, that’s how we, we survive. We’re surviving.
So are the beds kinda like tripled up in one room or how do you…?
Um, yeah, we live all together in one room. And then my mom, um, lives in the room.
Well. So.
Mm-hmm. There’s only two rooms.
That’s how get a place for six-fifty, right. It’s a lot more otherwise, right?
Yeah. I mean I would love to have, like, a big place for the kids to run around to have their own room, have their own stuff. And, yeah.
So um, how are your, are your utilities included? Or what else do you pay?
Well we have to pay, um, gas. I pay my phone, phone bill separately.
Okay, so electricity as well?
Electric… no, electricity we pay together.
So like as part of the rent?
Yes.
Okay.
A, a little bit of help right there.
00:27:37
And mom’s medication? For other things?
Yes, I have to pay it too. So.
You ever… are you ever in a position where you say okay, so here’s what I have money wise and I can only pick two of the three things I need to pay for?
[Laughs] Yeah, there’s always. Yeah.
Can you give me an example?
For example, uh, mom’s medication is always first also because she really needs her medication. Uh, for the kids also.
So.
So. And bills, yeah, So there’s always, always to think about. Like, which one is more important? Well, bills, we have to pay bills because if we don’t pay bills we don’t have no light.
And no heat.
Yeah.
And you have a car.
Yeah, I have a car, so I have to pay also insurance and um, I have to make, um, monthly payments because it’s a lease car.
Okay. And you have to put gas in it.
Gas. And right now, it’s very expensive, so we don’t get to go places right now because… yeah.
And um, you, you have to pay for the car and the insurance but there are times where you, you can’t use it?
Mm-hmm, yeah. There are times where I don’t, I don’t use the car.
And how’s that, I mean, that’s, that’s gotta be, make, uh… what do you do in those cases?
Uh, what do you mean? We stay home [laughs]. We have to stay home. So yeah we go walking to a park and stuff like that. The nearest park we have.
And how close are you to, to your job?
[Laughs] It’s right next door. So I don’t have to drive around that much.
Oh, so you’re here? You’re right upstairs? So that’s your kids upstairs [laughs].
Yes [laughs]. They are making noise up there.
We’re gonna hear them on [laughs].
They’re up there jumping [laughs].
Okay, so you don’t have to… and that’s probably also why it’s cheaper ‘cause, it’s… owned by the daycare right, so.
Mm-hmm.
00:30:12
So at least if you run into an issue with not being able to use the car, you don’t have to worry about, “How am I gonna get to work?”
Well right now, yeah. But we’re not gonna be here for, for, for. Yeah. For long, forever.
Do you still wanna go back to school?
Yeah. Actually, I do want to go back to school. But they’re priori… priority. How do you say that?
Priorities.
[Laughs] Priorities. So I have to take care of the kids first.
And their father… not in the picture?
No. No. He was deported uh two… one and a half year ago? Yeah.
Same for all, all the kids?
No. My life has been very, very difficult. My first kid, I was left pregnant. Um, her dad moved to a different state. But, as we were underage so I couldn’t, I couldn’t leave my house. I couldn’t move. So my mom, um, didn’t want me to move from here. So after a few months, um, he got another girl pregnant. So. Um.
Your mom made… the right decision?
[Laughs] Yeah. Yeah at the time, yes. So it’s been thirteen years. Her dad is not-- never been around. It’s been thirteen years. So, um, after that, after three years because I went in, in, into depression for about two, three years. And then, um, I met my other boy’s dad. Um, and a month after he was born he got deported, too. [laughs] So, he went back to Mexico. He’s from Mexico. He went back to Mexico. And after three months [laughs] he got married already.
00:32:42
Why was he deported, do you know?
Um, I don’t know. I think because, um, his job or something.
Okay.
Yeah. He got deported also. So, after that... Actually he came back. After eight months, he came back. So we tried to go back together but it, it didn’t work. Um, a few months after he came back he got, um, he was gonna get, um, killed. Somebody stab him through his neck so he went into a coma. For a few weeks. Um. It was, it was really hard to... Uh… yeah and after a few months when he is starting doing good, he recovered. He actually woke up, he woke up from coma.
That’s good.
Well they, they sent him back to Mexico. Because he couldn’t stay here. The treatments and stuff like that it was very expensive.
And who paid for those? Was it, he did? You didn’t pay for those?
No. It was something good that we had a kid because we used, um, his insurance. I don’t know how it helped but it did help him. So we used his insurance. Um, and yeah, after that he left. And it’s been also ten years.
Wow.
It’s been ten years. Yeah, he’s not around. He’s not, he doesn’t remember his dad. The girl, uh, she met her dad, but she doesn’t, she doesn't care about him or stuff like that. And actually after, after she met him he just disappeared. Mm-hmm. He’s not been a responsible father stuff like that. And after, yeah, after three years I met my youngest boy’s dad. And three years ago, no, four years ago, he had a, um, another problem. His friends, um, um, trying to, tried to get him in trouble. So he went to jail for three years. So I was pregnant when, when um, he went to jail. Um and it’s been, it’s already been, what, three years? Cause my youngest baby is three years, he’s about to be four years um, so I was pregnant when he went to jail. And so like, I’m saying it's very difficult because all of this time is just me trying to move forward but it’s, it’s for the kids. Um, and their dad, uh, he already, he already have a girlfriend over there. So there is no hope for me going over there or for him coming back here.
Right.
Exactly. So now it’s all me. Mm-hmm.
And that’s, well I was gonna ask about it-- so there’s no help, there’s no child support?
There’s no child support because all of them--
They’re just gone.
Yeah.
00:36:50
Um. I lost my train of thought. Wait a second. So. They’re in school, they’re not in school right at this moment, right, ‘cause it’s summer. But they, they go to the schools, the New Brunswick schools?
Yes. They go to the public schools.
The public schools. But the three-year-old would be, I guess, would be here?
Yes.
And what, what about during the summer? Where do they go, what do they do during the summer?
Um, the youngest kids went to the summer school. But it’s only for a month I think. Yeah, it was for a month. So right now they’re at home. They’re over there making noises. They’re in the place above [laughs].
Is it more difficult during the summer in terms of, money wise?
Yes, yes. Because like, when they’re in school, they eat breakfast, lunch over there. So, but now we have to buy even more stuff for them.
How do you manage that?
Um. To be honest, I believe in God. And he’s always been there for me.
So something, something always...
Comes up.
Comes up and helps.
Yes. I go to church every, every Tuesday. Um, and for a few minutes Monday. And we have a group on Fridays and I go to Mass Sunday.
Is that, is that because of your… or is your background being that religious?
Actually, actually no. It’s, to be honest, it’s me, the first one that has been doing that for a few years now, um, after this guy went to jail. Um, I was really very, very, very sick, depressed. And [clears throat] there was a friend that, um, talked to me and told me about this group and I started going often. So I was feeling better when I was going. Uh, I started feeling better. And now I’m, I, I went to a… retired? Is that how it’s called?
Retreat?
Retreat! Retired [laughs]. Retreat. Um, so after that I been feeling much, much, much bet-- much better. And actually, church has been helping also.
How?
Um, I go to, I have a um, um, not therapy but, uh, like counseling? Yeah, I have a counselor. Um, she’s been helping. Uh, sometimes they give me, um, food stuff like that. Um.
So it’s like a food pantry there and the counselors’ there and..
Yes. So it’s been helping a lot.
So it kinda helps bridge that gap, money-wise, I guess?
Yeah.
And you don’t have to pay anything for any of that, right?
Right, no, I don’t have to pay.
If you had to go to therapy without that.
Then I would have to pay [laughs].
And you said the oldest is how old again?
She’s thirteen.
Thirteen. So, so she’s going into high school or she’s in high school already?
No, she’s going into eighth grade.
Eighth grade. Okay. And are you thinking about college for her at all? Is that something that you can think about?
Well, I’m thinking about it [laughs]. I don’t know if she’s thinking about it, because. Yeah, I don’t know. Sometimes she sees me struggle and she wants to help, so, I don’t know.
So but, it would be, how difficult would it be if she wanted to go to college eventually?
Well, I think she’s gonna have probably a… um, what do you call this? A scholarship? Maybe that will help.
00:42:07
How are her grades?
Well her grades are, yeah. Well she has to, to have good grades in order to have a college...
Does she have good grades?
[Pauses].
[Laughs].
No.
Okay.
No. No.
Well, what do you hope? She’s, she’s the first one?
She’s the first one, yeah.
What would you like to see happen?
Well, I would love for her to go to college. To, to have a career. Yeah. I was telling her, um, and actually she, she also, um, likes, um, this medical stuff. So sometimes, she tells me she wants to do, she wants to be a nurse. But like I’m saying, I’m always telling her, I’m always behind her back telling her she has to do this, she has to do that, she has to, to read and, and yeah.
And it’s hard.
But it’s hard. Because she’s already thirteen and the kids right now they’re more into telephones um, stuff like that. So, it’s kinda hard. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:43:31
What, um… How long have you lived upstairs?
Mmm… I’ve lived there for two years.
Two years. Um, is there a... When you moved in, did Mr. Harris say, “X amount of time,” or is it a place he’s just renting to you?
Um. He’s just renting right now but he, he. We don’t have like a lease, we still live here.
Okay. But did the…
So whenever he says, yeah, to move, I have to move [laughs].
But you’re also taking, are, are you trying to make plans so you can get a bigger place?
Yeah, my plans is to, to look for something else. Like I’m saying, um, I don’t want to live like this forever. Yeah, so um, I don’t know, I might look for another job if that’s a good option. But right now I want to, to be with my kids during summer when they go to school they have more time to do homework. When they go to school, like, my mom is at home so she can help a little.
Right. This-- I mean, you would need to pay for daycare. This, like, do you pay now or cause you work here…?
Um, I applied for Catholic Charities.
Okay.
So they’re helping. So I don’t have to pay a copay, because they’re also helping.
Okay. So you’re getting some income from them and you’re getting some assistance from a couple places but if you weren’t working here, it would become a little bit more difficult I guess, to cover the daycare costs.
Yeah. I used to pay daycare. I used to pay daycare. But, like, they, I think they saw my situation so that’s why I’m not paying right now. But I used to pay daycare. Mm-hmm.
How much money, at the end of the month, do you think you have left over?
Savings? No savings.
No savings.
At all.
So if an emergency came up, what happens?
[Takes deep breath] I have no idea. No idea.
So an emergency doesn’t have to be anything big. It could be, I mean, your car breaks down.
Well it’s going to be, I mean, not good [laughs]. It’s not gonna be good.
00:46:13
As it is, you don’t you don’t always use it, so…
Yeah. I mean for food shopping or stuff like that… Uh, sometimes I take my mom to the, to the clinic. She goes to Howe Lane. So, we need the car.
So you still have to be able to get from one place to another.
Mm-hmm.
Um, describe a day for me.
Um... Okay, everyday I wake up at six. Um, I get ready. Uh, go to work. Um, um, my hour of lunch I come home, I stay with the kids. If I have to cook, I cook for them, um, and then I go back. Um, I come out at four. At four, um, I take probably an hour rest [laughs] for myself. Um, if it’s…
What time do you start in the morning, though?
At seven. I mean, work time?
Yeah.
At seven. But I wake up at six, get ready, take a shower in the morning and go to work.
So you have help, your mom can help with the kids in the morning, whatever they have to do when they get up?
Yeah. But they’re big enough they can do their stuff.
Okay.
Yeah. Um, Uh, but at one, if I have to cook yeah I have to… I cook for them, Um, ‘cause sometimes, my mom. Um, I have my other nephews here in the morning. [Clears throat] So my mom is taking care of them.
Oh-- nephews from your sister?
My sister.
Okay.
Yeah. And, and then, uh, okay, if it’s a Tuesday, um, I go to church. If it’s Wednesday, Thursday um, I take them to the park. And then we come back, they watch TV for a little bit, they have dinner, um. And they go to bed. Mm-hmm.
How about you?
Uh, for me, um, the same thing [laughs]. Same thing because I, I end up um, tired, sometimes. But what actually has been a few weeks, probably two weeks that I’ve not had, not been sleeping.
00:49:06
Why? Do you know? Just one of those things?
I think, Yeah. Stress.
Stress.
‘Cause I’ve been thinking, yeah, I want to move from here. I want to do something else. I want to get a bigger place. I have, yeah, I have some other thoughts.
How, how much… You have to put some money aside, right? What would it take to find a bigger place and afford it?
Um. [Sighs] I don’t know if I’m not getting your question, or…
Well, you’re paying, what, six-fifty? And what does rent sell for in New Brunswick, a thousand dollars?
Mm, yes, more than that. It’s probably like fifteen-hundred. It’s a lot.
So that’s, that’s more than double. So, and you would need money upfront.
Yes. We have to at least a month, I think.
Okay. So you want to move out, the question is…
How.
What do you think you need to do to be able to?
Hmm. Like I’m saying, get another job. Get another job, because that’s the only way.
Okay, what kind of jobs do you think are out there? Have you looked yet, or...?
Mm… like, just the work at Dunkin’ Donuts. Because I think it’s less hours. Um, yeah, because the factory is, it’s the eight hours. So.
So you think you can get like a second job or change jobs?
No, second job.
So it’ll be to leave here and then to work, several hours.
Yeah.
00:51:07
You’ll be even more tired.
Exactly. But you know, it’s for the, for the kids. It’s, it’s always, I mean, I’m always thinking about them.
So every… your decisions, you prioritize them, right? So, your mom and your kids, your mom and your kids.
Yeah.
So, where does that leave you?
[Laughs] That’s actually a good question because it’s been a long time since I’ve had to visit the doctor. And we, as a woman we have to get a check up every, every two years. It’s been four years and I haven’t. I haven’t.
You don’t put the money aside.
Exactly. Exactly.
What other kinds of things fall through the cracks? That you, that you, you know. Do you… how often, you know, what things… that people take for granted, do you have to kind of forego? You know not, not buy or not do?
Uh, like for example, I don’t go out. Like, having fun for myself. I don’t go out for the same things. Um, I don’t want to spend money on something I don’t, I don’t really need. Mm-hmm.
So like, you know, how about like cable? How about, um…
Um, cable, it’s included with the bill. With rent.
So that’s good.
We don’t have worry about that. We only have one TV [laughs].
Okay.
We only have one TV and it’s not, it’s not mine [laughs].
Okay. And you have phones.
Yes. I have two, one for my daughter and my mom.
Okay. And that’s, you know, computer, no?
No.
You use your phones.
Yes. No, we don’t have a computer. Basically we, we don’t have nothing. Mm-hmm.
So, you know, if you were to need… Is the apartment furnished?
Yes. When, when we came, they had beds and a few, um, a few pieces of furniture. So that’s what we’re using so, mm-hmm. Um, I applied for a credit card so I’m getting a good, I’m trying to get a good score.
00:54:04
Okay.
Mm-hmm. So that way, probably in the future, I’ll use it. But I don’t know when [laughs].
You gotta be careful though. So, okay. I’m trying to think anything that I wanted to talk to you about. Um. I don’t know that I have anything else for you right now. Do you have anything that you want to say, that you want to add about struggles or about any part of what we talked about?
Uh, yes. There’s been a lot of struggle. There’s been a lot of, um, struggle. Like I’m saying. But then, uh, well for me, personally, uh, going to church has been very, very, very helpful. And, yeah, sometimes I stress myself thinking, um, but at the end there is, there is always someone or something that makes me feel better. And it’s through, through prayer. Mm-hmm.
Alright. Do you mind if I get your picture?
Okay.
I always have to ask.